Olivia is incredible. She is smarter than I ever knew a two year old could be. She can count to 12, she knows all of her letters and colors, even her shapes. This beautiful child has brought the light into my life. The sweet sound of her laughter and her little angel voice brings joy to everyone around her. Those beautiful eyes, adorable smile and perfect complexion would make it difficult for anyone not to smile at her. She is brave and strong, everything I ever dreamed my daughter would be.
The person I described in the paragraph above is who my sweet pea is, but something in her changed as she turned 2. As I write this blog I am looking back and forth from the picture up top and can hear her playing with her dad upstairs. I am thinking, what did I do wrong to make her act the way she has recently. Am I over reacting? Am I locked in the house too many hours in a week that we battle like we are in WWII? What am I doing so wrong?????
Every thing I ask her to do the answer is no. She kicks me, hits me, yells at me and is just straight up mean to me some days. Is there something I have done to make her this way? Why is my child so angry and defiant towards me? I am honest to God thankful I have my mother here with me to see the way she behaves some days because I do not think anyone would believe me! So to get to the bottom of this I have to ask myself, am I parenting her the way I should be?
The answer is YES I am. No she should not stand up on the toilet and spray her little sister with Lysol. No she should not pour garlic powder all over the house and the dog. I could go on giving examples but I am sure every mother reading this has her own story she could relate to with me, and if not then please share your words of wisdom with us! I do not think my daughter is acting the way she does because of something I have done. I believe ( or hoping at least) she is behaving the way she is because she has to learn what we will tolerate and what we will absolutely not.
Now my daughter is not a terror 24/7. But look out when she is on one of her tantrums. I am sure I will be completely gray by the time she is a teenager. Screaming for 45 minutes straight and nothing can calm or soothe her is nothing out of the ordinary. On top of her acting this way I have a 7 month old and sometimes the screaming is just in stereo. Last night I actually broke down and joined in with them and had a nice cry. Sometimes there is only so much one person can handle, and spanking a child constantly does nothing but teach them to hit. How much can you discipline your child?? Sometimes I feel like she is in trouble ALL day and I feel terrible because of it, but letting her get away with everything does nothing good for her.
My mother was nice enough to stay with the girls during their nap time and give me some time to get out of the house today. I was able to meet with a wonderful old friend of mine and share our Toddler Terrors with one another which inspired me to write this blog today. I was so relieved that it was not just me or Olivia going through this alone. After last night I felt so terrible I was heading to Barnes and nobles to get a parenting book. Instead I had coffee with my friend, and left with a fabulous new photography book and peace of mind that I am not alone in the crazy world of a toddler. There are millions of moms going through the same thing we are and not all of them have a friend or the time they can share it with and that's where I come in!
The reason I am writing this blog today is because I know there is another mother out there asking themselves the same question I ask myself. "WHAT AM I DOING WRONG" The answer is nothing, unless you are then stop it ;). But seriously sometimes kids are just going to be crazy and all be can do is buckle up for the ride. I saw this idea for a calm down jar I think I am going to try, here is the link if you are interested in trying it also.
http://naturebabyrainbowfarm.wordpress.com/2012/03/27/calm-down-jar/
Looking for outlets and constructive ways of disciplining our children is the only thing we really can do. They will eventually learn their boundaries. Some days are better than others and that's ok, its supposed to be like that. Keep a positive outlook on tomorrow, pray and stay strong. UNWIND! Find something to do when the kids are at rest that makes you feel good. If you don't feel good the kids will not feel good either. I hope this post has reached someone in need, because I know last night I sure was.
As always,
Peace, Love and Happiness to you all
Our little one's have reached that age when they begin to exert their own will. Something that I've tried to incorporate (some days more successfully than others) is a concept I learned from "Love and Logic". It's not only helped with Charlie but with Mumbles as well. Basically, the way it works; give the child a choice, i.e. Instead of saying "Get your coat on!" say "Do you want to play in your room or do you want to go outside? If you want to go outside, you'll have to put on a coat." Why it works; children aren't arguing if they're thinking. By giving them choices, they feel a sense of control while also learning where the boundaries are (i.e. You can go to bed at 8 or 8:30 but 8:30 is the latest). The other aspect that I really like about it is it's pro-active rather than reactive. Instead getting upset/angry after something has happened and then punishing the child, this gives you the opportunity to head off an incident before it happens. I will admit it requires patience and some creative thinking and at times, I lack one or both but it definitely can work! Hang in there Mama!
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